Wednesday, 27 October 2010


Three word Wednesday - the words are: fragile, rampant, tremor.

As I watched my son at the supermarket earlier, he - and the words - inspired this:

The cute checkout girl's from Martinique
(Mustn't tremor or I'll look fragile and weak.)

I'll enhance her world with my rampant smile,
It's obvious she admires my style.

Tomorrow, God willing, I may even speak.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Blog Crusade

Rach at Blog Crusade has a fiendish plan to get all us writers who blog connected. The idea is we connect, exchange ideas, build our platform and generally help each other out. Take a look.

For me, it'll be an ideal opportunity to try and create the 'platform' we're all supposed to have. I have a tendency to use this blog as a break from writing by posting my cretinous cartoons, idiotic insights and daft doodles.

I resolve to be much more serious with my blogging in future and talk about things literate.

But first I have to come up with 5k words around super-high-rise habitats and the effects on residents, visitors and local ecologies ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... coffee it is then.

Friday, 22 October 2010

Thursday, 21 October 2010


The Three Word Wednesday words this week are: effect, immense, shimmer.

  My girlfriend's a girl of some class
  With breath not unlike mustard gas.
  The effect is immense
  But in her defence
  Her eyes shimmer like cut glass.

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

A little culture

I should be taken out and shot for this one:

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon, Boy George, Culture Club)

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

China Miéville is definitely NOT on Facebook

A note from China Miéville who's not happy at being ignored by Facebook.

Here's a copy of his letter:

1601 S. California Avenue
Palo Alto
CA 94304
6 October 2010

Dear Facebook People,


1) The short version:

At least one person, if not more, is/are impersonating me on Facebook, with (a) fake profile(s) claiming my identity. Despite me repeatedly bringing this to your attention, you have taken no action to remedy the situation. And I’m getting very annoyed.

2) The full version:

This thing you hold is called a letter. This is the third time I’ve contacted you, and I’m doing so by this antiquated method because, and I realise this may shock you so brace yourself, I have no Facebook account. Which means it is nigh-on impossible for me to get in touch with you. Kudos for your Ninja avoidance strategies.

Back when you had a button allowing me to alert you to a fake profile despite not having an account myself, I contacted you that way. I was answered with a resonant silence. Subsequently, when the problem persisted, I hunted lengthily for, found and left a message on the phone number you go out of your way to hide. Absolutely nothing happened. So here we go again: third time’s a charm.

I am being imitated on Facebook. I believe the only reason anyone is bothering to do this is because I’m a novelist (published by Macmillan and Random House), a writer and broadcaster, with a minor public profile. I think there are one or two community pages about my stuff on Facebook – that of course is very flattering and nice of people to bother. The problem is that there is or are also pages by someone(s) purporting to be me. This is weird and creepy. What’s worse is I know for a fact that some readers, friends and colleagues are friending ‘China Miéville’ under the impression that it is me, and that others are wondering why ‘China Miéville’ refuses to respond to them. And I have no idea what dreadful things or ‘likes’ or ‘dislikes’ are being claimed as mine, nor what ‘I’ am saying.

I know lots of people enjoy being on Facebook. Great. More power to them. Vaya con Dios. Me, though: not my thing. I have absolutely no interest in it. I am not now nor have I ever been a Facebook member. Short of some weird Damascene moment, I will not ever join Facebook – and if that unlikely event occurs, I promise I’ll tell you immediately. In the meantime, though, as a matter of urgency, as a matter of courtesy, as a matter of decency, please respond to my repeated requests:

• Please delete all profiles claiming to be me (with or without the accent on the ‘é’ – last time I looked, I found one ‘China Mieville’, and one more accurately rendered).
• Please do not allow anyone else to impersonate me. I have neither time nor inclination to trawl your listings regularly to see if another bizarre liar has sprung up.
• And while you’re at it, please institute a system whereby those of us with the temerity not to sign up to your service can still contact you on these matters and actually get a [insert cuss-word] answer.

I appeal to you to honour your commitments to security and integrity. Of course as a multi-gajillion-dollar company I have absolutely no meaningful leverage over you at all. If David Fincher’s film doesn’t embarrass you, you’re hardly going to notice the plaintive whining of a geek like me. All I can do is go public. Which is my next plan.

I’m allowing a week for this letter to reach you by airmail, then three days for you to respond to me by phone or the email address provided. Then, if I’ve heard nothing, on 16 October 2010, I’ll send copies of this message to all the literary organizations and publications with which I have connections some of the many books bloggers I know; and anyone else I can think of. I’ll encourage them all to publicise the matter. I’m tired of being impersonated, and I’m sick of you refusing to answer me.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,
China Miéville

Monday, 18 October 2010

Saturday, 16 October 2010

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Monday, 11 October 2010

Cloth ears

Another of my daft cartoons - recommended by my twelve year old critic:

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Sunday, 10 October 2010

That alien again

Click for a larger image:
(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Press any key - except shift, ctrl, alt, that one with the funny ...

I finally crawled aboard the third millennium with this, the first fully digital Space Warp cartoon. I used Paint because I couldn't figure out how to use Photoshop. It's not incredibly funny but, at the time, I was very proud of the chairs. Hey, when you can't draw for toffee, anything remotely identifiable is a victory. AND: it only took me 12 months to notice the 'Qudrant' typo!

Tip 678.9: Never poorf raed your own wrok.

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Friday, 8 October 2010

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Three Word Wednesday morning.

It's Three Word Wednesday so soon?!
Where did the week go ... ?

The three words are: hint, lust, and sheen.

They inspired:
My Grandad did hint at his lust,
For Denise and her ample round bust.
Likewise, while doing the dishes,
One of Grandma's three wishes
Includes Charlie Sheen as a must.


Intelligent life as a survival strategy

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Pranking machines

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Writing to survive

How long do these blogs survive after our death? Six months? A year? Until the Internet's full and they need the space?

My books will survive me. The hard copy for a few years, and the electronic versions for a few more maybe? How long, I wonder.

I bring this up because it's time I 'fessed-up'. In answer to the question, 'Why do you write?' - a question to which I've provided many fallacious answers – the real answer, for me anyway, is to leave something behind.

The thought of passing away, fading from memory, and leaving nothing … nothing … suffice it to say I don't like that thought.

So! There are three more things I'd like to cast out and perhaps leave the tiniest of eddies in this great river of ours:

1) A song I made up and used to sing while bouncing a Teddy bear along the rail of the crib containing Alex, later Claudia:
My name is Ted
And I've got a big head
And I like to jump in the air-oh.
I spin around
When I leave the ground
So they call me the dancing bear-oh.

2) Another song I made up for the amusement of my youngest children:
Fratchety Dan
Is a strange little man
Who lives at the top of a tree.
He's got a white cat
And a big black hat
And he always shouts at me.

There aren't any stairs
Underneath those pears
So I have to use a ladder.
If I rattle a branch
The cat does a dance
And Dan gets madder and madder.

Oooooooh ..

Fratchety Dan
Is a strange little man
Who lives at the top of a tree.
He's got a white cat
And a big black hat
And he always shouts at me.

3) This is a twelve bar blues number I composed – also for the amusement of the youngest – which I'd sit and sing and play on my little keyboard (we have a small chocolate cocker spaniel called Lily):
Woke up one mornin,
my dog was gone.
Oh, I woke up one mornin,
my daw-awg was gone.
Her name was Lily,
and Lord did she pong.

My house smelled so sweet that I,
Had my friends around.
Yes, my house smelled so sweet that I,
Had my friends around.
But when they'd gone,
Lord I missed that hound.

I got so depressed that I,
Hung myself from a tree.
Yes, I got so depressed that I,
Hung myself from a tree.
I woke up in cotton
And my dog was licking me.

Now I wake up each mornin and I,
Know my dog is home.
Yes,I wake up each mornin and I,
Know my dog is home.
And I know I'm in Hell because,
Lord that dog still pongs.

Three things to remember me for.

I hardly knew you, but I miss you Kenny.

Monday, 4 October 2010

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Elevated jealousy

This is the first time Pat the Empath and the lift which fancies the Captain meet.

Click for a larger image:  

I know it's uncool to chuckle at one's own jokes, but such is the extent of my silliness ...
(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Saturday, 2 October 2010

Friday, 1 October 2010