Thursday, 30 September 2010

Thursday's Three Word Wednesday

In response to Three Word Wednesday's words: imminent, tamper and  engulf.

Word association.

Say, 'imminent'. I say, 'danger'.

Say, 'tamper'. I say, 'proof'.

Say 'engulf'. I sit in silence as I remember Miss Champion. The spinster who ran the children's home which housed me as a small boy. I can still feel her arms wrapped around me, pressing my face to her bosom, feel her kisses on top of my head. This, in stark contrast to the foster home, where I'd been tied to a wooden board for days at a time and humiliated, then made to eat cold porridge on the damp concrete floor of an icy basement.

Thank you Rene Champion. Champion The Wonder Horse to me. Thank you.

Death, taxes and telephone marketing

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

That high velocity three pin plug

The Ardly Effect spoiler alert ...

Some 10% of the fan mail asks about the origins of the high velocity three pin plug which killed Vick in his space suit just before he could turn off the field projector:
Think back to when sergeants Arthur and George are captured by being transported out of their space ship which then exploded ... one of the sergeants held a plugless kettle from which he poured hot water onto his foot - the tea cup not being there, of course.

Call screening

My twelve year old critic has elevated this effort to 'the dumbest cartoon in the multi-verse'. High praise indeed.

Click for a larger image:
(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Monday, 27 September 2010

Slogans to avoid

After a weekend alternately striding the sunny Scottish hills then relaxing reading holiday brochures, I'd like to share this handy tip: For you marketeers out there - some slogans, no matter how you phrase them, just don't work ...

Click for a larger image:
(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Friday, 24 September 2010

The importance of tipping

Still haven't heard back from the three short stories (my babies) I have out there in submission land. Hence the distracting toons while I try to get my brain back into my WIP. Been almost a month I think. I really could do with selling more - need new cardboard for my daughter's shoes.

Here's another tip: get rid of all your dastardly adverbs and adjectives. How many can you leave out? Strong verbs and nouns rock!

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Thursday, 23 September 2010

A measure of success

If my success is defined by other's failure, I don't want it. Then again, if everyone is successful, no one is.

The message in The Incredibles - the 2004 computer-animated superhero film featuring the voice of Holly Hunter (rrrr) - was simply, if everyone is special, no one is.

How true.

Back to success: this is one of those mornings I suspect most writers experience. I'm crap, hopeless, can't do this, everyone hates what I do, the effort is lost, pass me the revolver ...

Then I open an email, from Paypal, saying someone in India has donated £6 after reading one of my free ebooks. The person added a note saying how much they enjoyed it and thanked me for putting it on line.
Someone from India sent me £6!

This catch in my throat is what success tastes like. This rheumy view of my screen is what success looks like.

Shake the bullets from the revolver's barrel. Save them for another day. I have work to do.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Three Word Wednesday

Today's three words from Three Word Wednesday are gait, nudge and ripen.

Inspiring this:
A friend's sympathy.
A nudge from Fat-Bob made me see
A horse pinching plums from his tree.
Bob's chasing gait
Made my stomach pulsate
And laughter ripen in me.

And the winner is ...

I won no prize for being the least incompetent at answering a Sci Fi quiz over at Woo Hoo! I'm so proud and would like to thank Steve my agent, Murray, Karl, Claudia, Alex and of course my mum, as well as Lily the chocolate cocker, and, I could never forget Fatima, the goldfish that keeps my feet firmly planted on the ground by looking at me every morning and saying, "And you are ...?"

Here's my no prize:

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Slime will tell

My twelve year old critic insisted I post this today.

Click for a larger image:

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Friday, 17 September 2010

Navels not required

This week has been dogged by sickness, headaches and just a little navel-gazing. I don't normally wish away time but I'm glad the weekend's arriving soon.

Here's a cartoon, based on aliens from a kiddies story I wrote thirty odd years ago, that really tickles my twelve year old critic.

Can't help feeling sorry for poor Spriggs though.

Click for a larger image:
(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Three Word Wednesday (I'm late - I have a note)

For some reason, Wednesday's words of demure, offend and volatile, made me think of anagrams and their relationship to the word of which they're an anagram.

I've used them in some of my fiction, often in character names. For example, in one story: Meadhill is a bad guy christened Heimdall (Norse God) by his victim Jennifer Penrose because of his gold tooth. In a twist in the same story, Jennifer Penrose turns out to be one of the personalities inhabiting the fractured mind of Roger Peerson. Whether or not the reader notices the anagram doesn't really matter - it's more a tool for me to maintain links and relationships.

Anyway, this is what I wrote down seconds after reading the three words:

You may think me rude but I'm shy and demure.
End off a relationship by doing something to offend.
Most volatile folk live a lot.
 In itself, not incredibly fascinating, but it made me think about something I do almost unconsciously.

Do you use anagrams in your writing? If so, I'd love to know the context.

Friday, 10 September 2010

Google is killing the planet

I remember reading in The Times that, "Performing two Google searches from a desktop computer can generate about the same amount of carbon dioxide as boiling a kettle for a cup of tea, according to new research."

So why on Earth is Google now doing a search every time I press a key?! Not only is it very annoying, it's consuming my bandwidth and heating up the planet!

Please Google, stop it!

Just because it can be done doesn't mean it should be done.

Fecund Friday

Very happy to conclude this week with a cracking idea for a short story. Going to post a toon - primarily to annoy my twelve year old critic - then, coffee and writing.

This is another of my favourites about the ongoing (non)relationship between the Captain and the Elevator ...

Click the image for a larger version:
(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Three Word Wednesday

The Three Word Wednesday words are: charm, feast, robust .

Here's my little effort:

A charming young man from out East,
Invited my mum to a feast.
She remarked on his lust,
And attentions robust,
But did not seem to mind in the least.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Torpid Tuesday

Hard to believe that it's 14 years ago that the Vultan Slime Slug (aka Slug) made his first appearance. What was I thinking?

Click for a larger image:
Aaanyway ... while waiting for the Inspiration Fairy to flutter by, I trawled this: Sloth's bizarre toilet habits.

Am blank, blocked, bamboozled by a bland brain today. Free-writing usually gets me out of my fug. Later playmates.

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Friday, 3 September 2010

Are we there yet?

After playing with the sat nav, my twelve year old critic wanted me to post this ...

Click for a larger image:

(kw: Space Warp strip cartoon)

Human Circles

It's this kind of thing that makes me think there really is hope for humanity.

What a bland world this would be without people like Tiny Orrico.

Take a peek at this short video.