Monday, 7 March 2011

"A virus ate my course work."

Lily: outmoded homework
destruction mechanism.

My son's English teacher is moaning at me because my son claims a virus ate his course work!

How cool is that?

In my day I had only the dog to blame. Oh, and on one memorable occasion, I claimed my neighbour's toddler had put my work in the oven and cooked it. Memorable because Mr Skinner - who thought he'd heard every excuse ever concocted by twenty years worth of errant school children - actually applauded. I'd come up with a new one it seems. I also recall he took the opportunity to give me a clip round the ear as I bowed in recognition of the applause. An action he'd probably be chalked, de-mortarboarded, and struck off for if carried out in 2011.

So, as I sit here, watching my son gloomily complete his assignment, all the while protesting his innocence and how sore his hands are and how hungry he is and how he feels a bit dizzy and his arms ache and he needs to pee again and is the light a bit dim and on and on … I'm wondering at the wonderful array of excuses modern technology has afforded our petite protégées in their quest to avoid homework. Viruses, flat batteries, wi fi that wouldn't wi or fi, forgetful memory sticks, and the combinations! … a veritable Rubik’s Cube of possibilities for the imaginative sprog.

But how many of their clever excuses could retrieve a stick, or make us laugh dragging its itchy butt over the carpet while mum shrieked in horror?

Oops. Have to go and crack the whip. Apparently his feet itch. Mine too. But for different reasons.


  1. Lol love this post!

    I think the lecturers at uni also heard everything.

    I think the one I used once (with right) did the same as yours, being as they were two students in a group of four that dragged their butts when it came to informing the remainder that they left the subject.

    Luckily, lecturers love me.


  2. Like father, like son no doubt! :-)

  3. true story: i did not finish a university assignment for a course i was taking online. so, when the profesor asked for it, i told him the virtual dropbox wasn't working. he said to send it to him again. i pretended to do so.

    he pretended to receive it!

    i got an A in the class.

    i know, i know. i'm going to hell.