|Lily: outmoded homework|
My son's English teacher is moaning at me because my son claims a virus ate his course work!
How cool is that?
In my day I had only the dog to blame. Oh, and on one memorable occasion, I claimed my neighbour's toddler had put my work in the oven and cooked it. Memorable because Mr Skinner - who thought he'd heard every excuse ever concocted by twenty years worth of errant school children - actually applauded. I'd come up with a new one it seems. I also recall he took the opportunity to give me a clip round the ear as I bowed in recognition of the applause. An action he'd probably be chalked, de-mortarboarded, and struck off for if carried out in 2011.
So, as I sit here, watching my son gloomily complete his assignment, all the while protesting his innocence and how sore his hands are and how hungry he is and how he feels a bit dizzy and his arms ache and he needs to pee again and is the light a bit dim and on and on … I'm wondering at the wonderful array of excuses modern technology has afforded our petite protégées in their quest to avoid homework. Viruses, flat batteries, wi fi that wouldn't wi or fi, forgetful memory sticks, and the combinations! … a veritable Rubik’s Cube of possibilities for the imaginative sprog.
But how many of their clever excuses could retrieve a stick, or make us laugh dragging its itchy butt over the carpet while mum shrieked in horror?
Oops. Have to go and crack the whip. Apparently his feet itch. Mine too. But for different reasons.